


Selfish

by orphan_account



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Guilt, Kind of a downer, M/M, broken wrist mention, car crash mention, eviction mention, money problems mention, poor living conditions mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23014093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Craig finds a note from Rick that he wasn't meant to see.
Relationships: Adventure Core/Fact Core, Factventure
Kudos: 21





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is kind of a vent. You can probably tell by how oddly specific it is.  
> Context for the letter are in the end notes.  
> Double-check the content warnings in the tags. I don't want anyone getting upset.

Rick was worked up about something. 

He was bouncing his leg and tapping his pen on the desk and checking the time near-obsessively; a few times he even stood up and paced around his cubicle. 

Rick was not a fidgety person. So something was wrong. 

Craig, whose cubicle sat directly across from his, kept finding himself distracted by it. He'd known Rick the better part of three years and would be lying if he said he wasn't at least kind of disturbed by his behavior. As soon as the clock hit five, Rick's shift was over and he bolted out of his chair and bustled out of his cubicle, tipping over his dustbin and giving it no notice past a small curse under his breath. Craig stood up, peeking over the dividers, bewildered. What was up with him? He figured he'd text him when he got home, as he was off the clock now as well. He collected his coat and paused to collect the contents from the trash can, which ended up spilling into the hallway. Something caught his eye, though. A crumpled up sheet of paper, on which Craig could make out his name. He squinted at it, put all the other trash back, and sat down in Rick's chair, unfurling it. 

_ Craig,  _ it started on the header 

~~_ Are you okay?  _ ~~

~~_ Talk to me if you need to.  _ ~~

_ I know things are bad for you. And I feel selfish for even addressing this at you but I just need to get this out. Damn it. It's not like you'll see it anyways.  _

_I'm sure things have been tough, especially after the crash. I can't even begin to imagine what that's like, and I was there. But even the vague anxiety I get in cars probably doesn't compare what it was like for you. You were driving. I know you feel guilty about it. My brain tries to make jokes about it but_ ~~ _my mouth_~~ ~~_my heart_~~ _I won't let me. Myself. Whatever. My brain's been kind of off-kilter ever since and I'm sure it has nothing to do with the accident and I want to make a joke out of it, like 'haha guess I'm concussed now' or something stupid like that but I'm terrified that it will just make you feel worse._

_ God, and then everything else that's happening to you. It makes me want to cry. I'm not joking. You should have told me about the house problems, Craig. But would I have even been able to help? I can't believe you didn't have water or internet in your house for damn months and I couldn't help. And then you got evicted and now you're living in a house with someone you hardly know and I know you can get paranoid about new people and I wish you could live at my house but there's not enough space. God I'm sorry. I want to help you so badly.  _

_ Remember that time we were at my place and you mentioned that my apartment was where you felt safest? And then you managed to find that safe space in your own home?  _

_ Now I'm scared you'll never feel safe at home again.  _

_ But with all this, all this pain you're going through, I worry about my own stupid issues and feel like such a prick for it. I feel like I can't tell you about my dumbass troubles because you're going through so much more trouble than I've ever been and I'm privileged in comparison.  _

_ I know about the whole "you can't not be sad just because someone else is going through worse" thing but when it's someone so close to you it hurts.  _

_ Some days your entire demeanor will change for the worse. And yeah you used to do that a lot but now every time it happens I feel like it might be because of everything happening around you and it's entirely justified.  _

_ Sometimes you act like nothing is wrong. Sometimes you start crying. Sometimes you don't talk to me at all. Damn it, Craig, I can never tell what going on with you.  _

_ I know no-one else at the office has really noticed, but I have and I feel horrible.  _

_ If I didn't know would everything be better? Or would it just be worse for you?  _

_ I feel bad that I feel bad about this, too. My problems are so stupid and petty but they feel kinda serious because I've never gone through any of that. I feel bad for even writing this. I really hope you have a good day Craig. You deserve it. You deserve the world.  _

_ I love you, I think.  _

Craig took a deep breath and neatly folded up the note. He placed it back in the trash, took his coat, and walked out of Rick's cubicle.

He should find Rick. But first, he needed to think.

**Author's Note:**

> Context for Rick's letter: Sometime a few months before this story takes place, Craig and Rick were in a near-head-on-collision. No-one was seriously injured sans Craig with a minor broken wrist. Having to deal with hospital and insurance bills and a company buying his house- raising the rent drastically- Craig had to make some sacrifices, like water and internet connection. He made do, and didn't tell Rick until he was evicted and forced to move in with someone or be homeless. A family friend, who Craig hardly knew, invited him, and Craig obliged. Rick has been watching from afar and feels like an arrogant jerk for not being able to help- not having much money himself- and having his own issues of smaller significance, like friend drama and rejection.  
> TL;DR: Craig is going through a major shift in his life right now and Rick feels bad for being stable.


End file.
